Aiden has this Sandra Broughton book called Perfect Piggies. There's one phrase in the book that I love now, "we're all perfect piggies indeed". This is one of Aiden's favorite books and these days we spend a lot of talk about "piggies" (even though the book really is referring to pigs). Recently, as Aiden was dressing himself and putting his socks on he counted his piggies and said, "I have 10!"; then, he counted mine and said, "Mommy has 10!", then he counted Jonathan's and said, "He has 8!". Then, in true 3 year old fashion, "How many piggies does Daddy have?" "Nonni have?" "Grammie have??" So, I go on to explain how most people (not everyone, which is what I used to say) have 10 and then try to explain why Jonathan has 8. Of course this is way over my dear 3 year old's head and so he moved on to something else.
Anyway, I feel that JP has perfect piggies. Recently on the FH (Fibular Hemimelia) support group I'm a part of I posed the question, "Why did some parents choose amputation over the lengthening surgery if both were recommended by different doctors?" Most of the responses containted reasons for choosing whatever route worked for their family (and everyone was supportive of each others choices - this is why I love this group!), but as always there was one person who said that those who choose the life of lengethening surgeries were "torturing their children". Well, this of course set off a fire-storm (I didn't know I could be so controversial - LOL), but I started thinking about it....
I can see why someone could think that a childhood of surgeries (especially where it can be anywhere from 5-15) would be a hard route, when amputation might seem easier. But they still have many appointments, fittings for various prosthesis, and from what I understand, a few surgeries, too. But to say that it's torture is just absurd (maybe not so from an outsider's prospective, but this is a women who's child has the same diagnosis as everyone else in the group). Everyone wants the best for their child and most people in this group feel that whatever works best for your family is the right decision. I feel the same. I don't turn my nose to those parents who choose amputation, nor think they took the easy way out. I would hope that someone who's in my situation wouldn't think I was torturing my child by trying to save their limb. I look at these piggies and think, they're Perfect Piggies... for our family.
When Jonathan is older, we'll explain to him why we chose the surgery/lengthening route and hope that he feels we made the right decision - despite the pain and surgeries he'll go through. But if decides that amputation is the way he wants to go on, I won't regret our decision or knock his choice because for now he has Perfect Piggies indeed.
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