Putting Things in Perspective....

It's hard to believe this beautiful boy will be turning a month this Friday. It has gone so fast, even though there are days (and nights) that feel like forever.

Over the past month, I have been able to enjoy spending time with my two boys and my awesome hubby. I've gotten to really enjoy being a Mommy, the beautiful weather we've been having, and amazing meals that Keith has been cooking with help from our CSA. I have also dealt with the struggles of raising two kids (including terrible 3's and a gassy newborn), as well as enjoy precious moments like below and relish in the fact that I have two amazing, sweet, and healthy boys.

Over the last 4 weeks, I have had time to adjust to Jonathan's birth defect. I think back to my initial ultrasound in October and how devastating the words were to hear and digest. At that time I cried as well as wondered about so many things; How would I handle (as well as explain to others, including my Aiden) a child who only has 3 toes and a shorter leg? Would he be in pain from his one bowed leg? Could I handle a kid who needs two different shoe sizes and one with a shoe lift? Could I handle a child who might need to have an amputation below the knee? Or could I handle seeing my child going thru repeated surgeries and pain from a tender age of 1 or 2 up until teens? Could there be other things wrong with him? And just the overwhelming feeling of dealing with the paperwork of 2nd insurance, early intervention, etc.

Now, here I am almost 6 months later and realize that my questions, fears, and worries were selfish and foolish. I see this beautiful face -

- and think, "so what, he has 3 toes...they are 3 perfect toes." And Aiden... he loves to count and rub his toes and doesn't notice that it's different, even though we had taught him that people have 10 toes.

His bowed/short bone - doesn't hurt him and I feel gives him character. And sure shoe shopping might be a bit of a nightmare, but shoe lifts are much more natural looking now.

And if he needed to have an amputation (which he doesn't) - so what? We would have learned to handle a child who has a prosthetic and he probably would run and jump just like any other boy.

Lastly, I thank God that there is absolutely nothing else wrong with him besides the fibular hemimelia.

Yes, I know we have a long road ahead, full of surgeries, pain, huge braces that have pins that will need turning, and physical therapy to deal with. Yes, my heart will break every time we have to go through it and I seem him wince or cry. But I have a beautiful boy that I would not trade for anything in the world!!!